I’m unsure how prevalent the idea still is, with social norms changing, but originally it went something like this: A woman was generally expected to be married by the time she was 25. After 25, she became “stale,” like a Christmas cake after December 25th, and was no longer as desirable. The longer she went without marrying, the worse it became.

I’ve come across this attitude–if you haven’t done X by date Y, you’re a failure–in two different areas lately. One bothered me a whole lot more than the other, but I feel like it should have been the other way around.

First of all, I bought the book The Lost Girls: Three Friends. Four Continents. One Unconventional Detour Around the World. after my birthday this year. (“When I get a little money, I buy books; if any is left, I buy food and clothes.” – Erasmus) I hadn’t been a big follower of their blog while they were traveling, but I’d read the posts about learning yoga and meditation in India, and they’d been intriguing. So I bought the book.

I had also read a bit about the process of writing the book, and I may be making this up (some of my memories are based on thoughts or dreams rather than reality) but I feel like they were looking for a theme to connect the disparate elements while writing. (The POV shifted somewhat randomly around among the three of them, depending on where they were.) I feel like the theme ended up being “Will I find a long-term relationship before 30 or die trying?” Because, y’know, woe betide anyone who isn’t married by the age of 30.

This is the same type of mindset that keeps me from reading romance novels. The focus on “getting a man” at an appropriate age and settling down to live happily ever after. As I continued reading this particular book, every time the topic came up, it hit home even harder that these people and I had absolutely nothing in common.

How wrong I was.

Because, y’see, I, too, have imaginary deadlines, and I’ve been thinking about them more and more often, lately. I, too, look back on my life and feel like I won’t achieve the type of success I want because I wasn’t a literary superstar by the age of 25. I didn’t have a novel published and a cult following by 30. And the longer I go without getting with the program, the more I feel like the dream will evaporate.

Hm. That sounds kinda familiar. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so judgmental about other people and their dreams/what’s important to them. And perhaps I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, either. After all, as I was just reading in A Writer’s Book of Days, plenty of authors didn’t get their start until later in life.

And, if you want to listen to Malcolm Gladwell (I wanted to listen longer, but I got dragged away from his keynote address by company dinner plans), there are two types of artists: young geniuses and old masters. (He borrowed the idea from the book Old Masters and Young Geniuses: The Two Life Cycles of Artistic Creativity by David W. Galenson.) The young firebrand achieves success early in life (though this momentum may not last), while the old master works patiently at craft until he or she has truly mastered the medium (whether it be words, painting, music, etc.)

In the keynote address, Gladwell compared this to the way students learn (some take longer to master a concept than others, but this doesn’t mean that they aren’t fully as capable at being successful–they’re just on a different time table), but I like to think about it every once in a while with respect to what I do. And not get so down on myself for not achieving instant success. (Just add water!)

After all, today is another day to try again–no matter what your goals in life.

The scripts are also the main reason I’m taking an official class (with grades, tests, homework, etc.) rather than just listening to the Pimsleur CDs or spending more time at JapanesePod101.com. There’s no way I’m going to learn them if I don’t have structure and accountability. Otherwise, I’ll just keep putting it off to some time the indeterminate future, along with reteaching myself calculus. And figuring out what I want to do with my life. And mowing the lawn. And researching that novel.

Speaking of which, I’m heading back to the coal mines (in more ways than one). I’ve spent enough time catching up on Warehouse 13 this evening.

I’m in the midst of many projects, with many irons in the fire. Here are a few just starting to heat up.

• Finishing a basic research and a detailed outline in time for NaNoWriMo in November. (Yes, I’m one of those writers. I think that any writing is better than no writing. But that doesn’t mean everything that’s written should be published. I’m also an editor with plenty of experience reading the slush pile.)
• Catching up on travel journals. I’ve been too focused on getting the writing polished and including all the fun details I observe and the details I learn–and what’s in the guidebook–that I get too far behind. Still need to finish up India and Egypt from 2008. My travel since then has been much more national than international.


• Scanning my photos. I took far, far too many photos in college. And there are photos from plenty of trips before the advent of affordable digital cameras–photos from England, Germany, Austria, France, Italy, Greece, Costa Rica, and China. This site will eventually have a section of travel writing, with accompanying photos.


• Recording some music (for an unspecified future purpose). I’ve recently rediscovered the joy of playing the clarinet, though community band is not quite the creative outlet I’ve been wanting. I’m hoping to start doing some recording…soon. Maybe by Christmas I’ll have something scored and the equipment I need.